Dating, Relationships and Danish men? |
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patience 
Newbie 
Joined: 25 Jul 2010 Online Status: Offline Posts: 4 |
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 Topic: Dating, Relationships and Danish men?Posted: 25 Jul 2010 at 3:54pm |
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So I'm a single girl thinking about moving to Denmark. And I have a few questions that I would love to get some help with about Danish men! It's been my experience that Danish men are funny and practical but cautious and struggle with trying new things... Is this generally accurate? I have seen personally (somewhat, have a few good Danish male friends but I'm not interested in them) and read a lot that Danish men are shy and haven't been taught to take charge, particularly when it comes to dating and women. So, that right there makes things tricky... but how much does a woman chase before she gives up then?? And when they do get together with women, I've heard that they don't follow through? Now that I think of it, how do you know if a Danish man is interested in you (and for that matter, how do you know if they're NOT interested in you if you can't tell if they're interested?) Finally, how do relationships work with Danes/in Denmark? I've heard that they start by two people sleeping together and then deciding to date but that seems over-simplified to me - or would everyone say that's true? How do you know when a Danish man is interested in you for more than just sex? When in a relationship, do Danes discuss things and work on their relationships? Or do they just tend to walk away without saying anything when things get tough? I have noticed that in conversation, it seems perfectly normal to just stop talking about walk away (for example, on skype or some sort of internet chat) - I find it rather odd? And finally, if Danes don't get married, how committed are they to staying in the relationship that they're in?? Sorry, I think I got carried away - so many questions but I'd like to know what I'm getting into! :)
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damestjernelys
Senior Member 
Joined: 19 Mar 2010 Location: Jersie Nationality: American Online Status: Offline Posts: 394 |
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Posted: 26 Jul 2010 at 2:58pm |
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Right.. I'm married to a Dane.
He's not afraid of trying new things. Heck, he even suggests them! In our marriage, we don't really have a 'boss;' we are true equals. I don't need my husband to take charge and he doesn't need me to. I've never felt that I was either inferior or superior to him regarding anything in our lives. When my husband and I were still 'chasing' each other, I don't think either one of us really 'chased' the other too much. We both felt a mutual attraction to each other and things progressed naturally from there. I honestly don't know how to tell if someone is or is not interested in someone else- then again, I am socially inept and have issues :P I would say that you would be able to tell if a Danish man is interested in you for more than sex the same way you would with a guy from back home... My husband, at least, discusses things and tries to work on our relationship- as do I. I think this would be a very individual thing and not something you can really generalise about- just like with people back home. Some will walk away, some will keep silent, some will open their souls out... I don't have any experience with the Danish dating scene- I never had to gain any :P |
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"One day the ordinariness will be terminally punctuated by the extraordinary full stop of death." (Glen Duncan)
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TomN
Senior Member
Joined: 17 Feb 2009 Location: Denmark Nationality: USA Online Status: Offline Posts: 703 |
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Posted: 28 Jul 2010 at 1:14pm |
I am getting that experience, and I am here to tell you that this complete lack of polite manners is not limited to Danish men. What a friggin joke the Danish dating scene is.
You read the profile, take the time to write a carefully worded letter (in THEIR language, mind you) and get dead silence. Not even a thank you for actually reading the profile, or thank you for writing such a nice letter, or thank you for writing in Danish, or thank your for the compliment, whatever.
Just dead, rude, silence.
You should also read some of these Danish women's profiles. Self-absorbed little entitlement princesses, many of them.
No photo with their profile, but in the profile they say, "If you don't send me a photo I won't reply!"
 (That works two ways, sister...)I am finding out just how udansk my late Danish wife was.
I think I am going to look for a "foreigner." :)
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damestjernelys
Senior Member
Joined: 19 Mar 2010 Location: Jersie Nationality: American Online Status: Offline Posts: 394 |
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Posted: 28 Jul 2010 at 4:03pm |
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After reading that, Tom, I think I'm even more grateful for not having any experience with the Danish dating scene... AND I think you should go look for a 'foreigner' instead of wasting time with rude entitlement princesses who aren't worth your time :)
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"One day the ordinariness will be terminally punctuated by the extraordinary full stop of death." (Glen Duncan)
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Heidi aka Fuzzy
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Senior Member
Joined: 31 Mar 2009 Location: Denmark Nationality: US Citizen Online Status: Offline Posts: 690 |
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Posted: 28 Jul 2010 at 4:51pm |
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The thing is, Danish women really don't need a man in their life like most of the rest of the women in the world. The government provides very well for single mothers and kids, so women tend to stick around a lot less in a relationship that's less than perfect. I suppose in other countries without as robust a safety net, relationships tend to last longer based a lot on need.
I imagine if you relocated to Manhattan, Tom, as a prosperous older single man you'd have no shortage of attractive and highly accomplished women vying for you. |
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Accepting donations to the Make Heidi Leave DK fund. PM me for info on how to help!
Disclaimer: this pokes fun at the tired universally used "If you don't like it, why don't you leave?" meme. |
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